The One that Got Away

One Sunday, I arrived a few minutes late for church. I snuck into one of the short side rows. It was unoccupied except for one woman sitting all the way near the wall. I took a spot a few seats away from her.

After the opening songs, the pastor asked, as usual, that we greet those around us. I turned to the woman, smiled, shook her hand and said "Good Morning!" She seemed a bit surprised. I thought perhaps I had something in my teeth. I should check that out.

During the teaching, I noticed the woman fell asleep. I stole a few glances to make sure she was alright. It was then I noticed she had two bags stuffed full and that she was actually a bit disheveled. I understood then that she was homeless and was carrying all her possessions with her.

That realization spurred thoughts (rarely a good thing) and eventually I started formulating a plan. I thought that since she was in church, she would welcome having someone take her to lunch and listen to her story. The best laid plans of mice, men, and women are, of course, doomed to failure.

As the service ended and we filed out into the hall, I asked her name. I have never seen anyone run so fast to get away from me. Remember, she was carrying two full bags. So, she put extra effort into dodging me! OK, so it was more than just something in my teeth. It was something about me.

But I was wrong. Remember, it's not about me. It's about them. She didn't ask for my help. She wasn't ready. It's all about her. I need to respect her and where she is in her journey. I need to recognize that I may not be a part of her journey and she may not be a part of mine. That means letting go. And letting go is something I could stand to do a whole lot more often. After all, look what happens when I try to take control. They run!

Once again, I learned more from this brief interaction than did the person I thought I was helping. While I learned a valuable life lesson, I am pretty sure the only thing she learned was that she can run while carrying heavy bags. While that may be good to know, it's not likely to be life-changing.

I am going to go practice letting go.